4. The Symptoms

When you Google Graves' Disease, one of the first images you will come across representing the illness is this:

This is the stuff nightmares are made of.

I don't want to tempt fate or anything, but so far, this has not been a problem that I've experienced.  It's a symptom known as Thyroid Eye Disease (TED) or Graves' Opthalmopathy, and it scares the ever-living bajeebuz out of me.  I know that the pictures they're using to represent this particular side effect are the cases that are like, the worst of the worst, but still.  I am an artist, you guys.  I need my eyes to work.

I have almost every other symptom possible, and I will try really, really hard not to complain too much about it if I can only avoid the TED.  Since this is a post about symptoms, after all, I have no choice so I'm going to attempt to be at least a little bit less serious in this post and hopefully the universe will give me a 'pass' on this one.

If you think you might have Graves' Disease and you want to know what the symptoms are, or if you happen to know someone who does have Graves' and you want to know what they might be going through, check out the list:

• Anxiety

This is easily my number one issue and the hardest part of my day.  Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have an anxiety disorder, but honestly?  Anxiety blows.  If you've had a panic attack before, you already know that it is probably the worst experience of all time.  If you haven't, you won't understand... and in my experience, this is the most frustrating part of anxiety.  People who don't have it think it's no big deal or think that you are weak for not being able to just "stop thinking about it".  I could - and at a later date, probably will - go on about anxiety enough to fill a whole post, but for now, let's just say that anxiety is the worst thing in the history of the universe and it is ruining my life.  That seems hyperbolic, but I swear, it really isn't.

• Irritability

I feel pretty confident that irritability is nowhere near as bad for the Graves' patient as it is for the people around the Graves' patient.  Please try to be understanding if you have a loved one who is suffering from Graves' Disease.  We don't actually hate you; our disease does.

• Difficulty Sleeping

I think that when people are compiling a list of Graves' symptoms, they should stop listing this problem as "Difficulty Sleeping" and start referring to it as "You Are Not Sleeping Again, Ever".  OK, OK... this time I am being hyperbolic.  The truth is that even though I am exhausted all day every day, it is impossible for me to fall asleep prior to 3:30 AM, and I am awake again within four hours.  And that's on a good day.

• Fatigue

This is another serious understatement.  Fatigue is not nearly a strong enough word.  It's more like "even thinking about walking to the bathroom to pee will be overwhelmingly tiring".  This is probably closely related to the previous symptom, Difficulty Sleeping.

• A Rapid or Irregular Heartbeat

This particular side effect is especially fun when partnered with anxiety.  In my case, it is a rapid and very strong heartbeat with a side of palpitations.  Enter: beta blockers.

• A Fine Tremor in Your Hands or Fingers

This is apparently accurate in most Graves' patients, or anyone with hyperthyroidism, really.  If you're lucky, you will experience it more like I do:  Insane Full-Body Tremors Which Can Be Seen Easily By Onlookers

• An Increase in Perspiration; Moist Skin

Check!  This particular symptom is confusing to me, as I have always been the girl who was constantly cold, even in summer.  Suddenly, I am sweating like I'm sitting in a sauna which is super attractive.  It's especially bad when I sleep.  You should see my hair in the morning:

Who doesn't want to wake up with Kramer-hair?

• Sensitivity to Heat

See: previous symptom, "Increased Perspiration".  An excellent combination.

• Weight Loss Despite Normal Eating Habits

Sometimes, hyperthyroid people kind of enjoy this symptom.  That outlook will quickly wear off.  I have been pretty small all of my life, but not like now.  Now, size 0 clothing is too loose.  Did I mention that The Mister is Greek?  Being the size that I am now is completely unacceptable to Greek mother-in-laws, who will run their fingers along your spine and cry.  I promise you I'm not exaggerating.  It is also really expensive to purchase bras with enough padding to make you not look like a 12-year-old boy.

• Enlargement of Your Thyroid Gland / Goiter

Can we take a moment to talk about how terrible the word "goiter" is?  Nobody wants to say that they have this.  You also do not want to Google "goiter", because this is another situation where what comes up is the-worst-of-the-worst.  I really don't understand how these people did not end up at a doctor's office before the bulge in their throat got to "bullfrog" level.

• Change in Menstrual Cycles

Dear Internet:  I don't know you that well, and I'm not particularly comfortable discussing this particular issue with you in detail.  I don't actually think it needs more clarification, so let's just move on.

• Erectile Dysfunction or Decreased Libido

So... this list got personal and quick.  I can't really speak about erectile dysfunction, so let's skip ahead once again.

• Frequent Bowel Movements or Diarrhea

This is another one of those symptoms that doesn't really need an in-depth explanation.  For the record, I am not experiencing this particular problem.

• Bulging Eyes (Graves' Opthalmopathy)

See: image at the beginning of this post.  Graves' Opthalmopathy occurs in up to 50% of Graves' Disease patients, and it does not sound like much fun at all.  The skin and tissues around your eyes become tight and pulled back, and aside from the bulging eyes, can cause excess teariness, dryness and irritation, a gritty sensation and/or pressure and pain in the eyes, light sensitivity, double vision, reduced vision, and more.  I am so scared of this possibility.

• Thick, Red Skin Patches (Graves' Dermopathy)

This particular problem is fairly rare and tends to show up on the skins / tops of your feet.  I don't have Graves' Dermopathy (knock on wood) and I don't know too much about it, but I imagine it is uncomfortable and sucky.

So, as you can see, Graves' Disease has a bunch of potentially crappy symptoms.  If someone you care about has Graves', have patience with them - even if you can't see it on the outside, they're going through a lot every day.

And if you have Graves', I officially give you permission to throw yourself a pity party.  But remember to try to be nice to the people who love you... we sweaty, shaky, irritable, and panicky Graves' people aren't always a picnic to be around, you know.