1. The Back Story

Finding out that I had Graves' Disease... well, it wasn't a shock for me.  I more or less already knew.  When I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism back in August, that was a shock (although it probably shouldn't have been after dropping about 20 lbs.)  I hung up the phone and, like any good hypochondriac, turned to Google for the answers.  When Google told me that the majority of hyperthyroidism cases are caused by Graves' Disease, I turned to The Mister and said "Yeah, so, I have something called Graves' Disease" - and then, obviously, proceeded to Google that.

It was pretty obvious.  In a laundry list of symptoms, I had at least 75% of them.  Irritability?  Check.  Fatigue?  Check.  Difficulty sleeping?  Check.  Weight loss?  Check.  Anxiety?  Oh, so very check.  I resigned myself to the fact that I was now definitely a patient with Graves' Disease.  The only thing I was missing was the actual diagnosis.

The wait to get in to see the specialist was about two months.  Everyone lectured me about being crazy to wait that long (as if I had any choice in the matter) and told me how badly I needed to see someone sooner.  "You're too thin," they told me.  "You're so shaky.  Your anxiety is far too bad to wait for two whole months."  But wait I did.

And as I waited, things got worse.  

My hands shook like I was highly caffeinated 24 hours a day, which was a symptom that I was convinced was as bad as it could get... until the hand tremors morphed into full-body tremors.  My legs became really weak and wobbly.  Trying to walk more than half a block made me feel like I had just run a marathon, although frankly, it didn't matter that much since my anxiety had gotten so bad that I no longer left the house unless accompanied by The Mister.  I was exhausted - all day, every day - but couldn't get to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning.  My heart constantly felt like it was not only racing, but also beating much, much harder than it was supposed to, and I became acutely aware of the palpitations in my chest every time I tried to lay down and rest.  I had lost so much weight that even size 0 didn't fit properly.  When you're that thin, aches and pains are felt in very surprising ways.  If I got heartburn, my back would ache.  If I had a back ache, I would feel it through to my ribs.  Headaches were constant; so were dizziness and shortness of breath.  In short, I felt worse than I could ever imagine feeling, and I wasn't even 30.

It was a very, very long two months.